Friday, February 4, 2011

a place of silence

i have a strong sense
of passing through this place
in the life i am living as steven

but i know that i am not steven
well, not exclusively
not precisely
not only

i know that
steven is "i"

the first few layers

i also know
that unpacking the "i" of steven
you'll find a collection of maps
of the knowing of himself
as perceived by himself
and then also
as perceived by others

steven is a history of events and ideas
that have been borrowed
and assembled
to create something
that is
almost an object
as real as can be sensed by the senses
felt by the heart
and known by the mind

but pull all of that away
and put it
in the drawer
of the one great moment

and i bet that there's a silence
deeper than any winter woods

no tell-tale footprints left behind
whose stories can be tracked and told

no fluttering of the wings of worldly wisdom

no birdsongs of revelation

just a place of silence


i am the wind that wavers
you are the certain land
i am the shadow that passes
over the sand

italicized words excerpted from "i am the wind" by zoe akins


  1. the 'I' of this life is just one of many layers.

    one of the things I like about river guiding was that this was a group of people that had no knowledge of me, no preconceived notions based on experience of who I was. I could be someone different, still me, but a part of me that was not allowed recognized by those who 'knew' me.

  2. ellen - i'm going past who people know me as to who i know me as. oh and beyond! i love being in places where i'm not known. so there's nothing to deal with in the way of preconceptions. as you say - you can be the you that is perhaps "not allowed". the rafting days seem to have dealt you with a lot to work through and with! steven

  3. lovely, steven. there really is no "i" no "I" (for sure) just swirls of energy. Don't you wish your name was "eddy" sometimes?

  4. I'm glad we have met, on this passage.

  5. You are Steven- I am Steven- we all are Steven- I am the Steven that felts things(and other stuff)- you are the Steven that rides and writes( and other stuff)- all of those other Stevens out there - so varied- so "I" so "u"...You are also the Steven that happens to be awesome,(and other stuff) this time around!