the robin's egg

a very long time ago i walked home from school with two friends. it was england. we wore caps and blazers and ties, grey shirts and dark shorts.

the sky was overcast. the pavement was wet.

on our walk we came upon a thick hedge.

one of my friends stopped and so then did we.

in the hedge there was a small nest. and in that nest lay an impossibly blue egg. a robin's egg!

i recall the feelings of surprise, mystery, and magic contained in that twig, twine and down bed.

a secret home.

we each held the egg and felt its smooth warmth.

it seemed improbable that something so small and fragile and very beautiful could house a bird.



but it did.

i became water

image courtesy phil douglis


i became water
and saw myself
a mirage
became an ocean
saw myself a speck
of foam
gained awareness
saw that all is but
forgetfulness
woke up
and found myself
asleep.

binavi badakhshani


in this writing, the person becomes water . . . and in that manifestation they experience the emptiness of artifice in the form of a mirage, become the allness of everything in the form of an ocean, and then the absolute of insignificance as a speck of foam.

then, in a moment of benevolent awareness the writer receives three more gifts; the recognition that they have forgotten everything, woken up and found themselves asleep. it is that self-awareness - that stepping away from everything (including your"self") - and realizing that (like gurdjieff's mechanical manifestations masquerading as people) - the unrealized individual (when given this shattering awakening) could transcend the mechanical, acted-upon self and ascend from mere personality to self-actualizing essence.

the muffling of winds

hoarfrost and silence:
only the muffling
of winds dark and lonesome--
great lullabies to the long sleepers.
carl sandburg